When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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