Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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