This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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