found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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