whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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