She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
