He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
