Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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