carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
