More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It all started with a game of naked twister.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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