OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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