Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
