I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
