you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
