Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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