Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
