Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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