Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
