I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
