Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
