Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
