That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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