jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
