the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
