Porn is love you can see.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
