sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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