That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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