it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
