Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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