would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You made out with two different species that night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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