fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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