are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
