no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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