Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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