I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
