how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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