Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
