I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
