he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize