hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
