Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not ubering you a puppy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
