Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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