So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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