I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My balls are so social today.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
