I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
