This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
