Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
