The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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