apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
