you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
