The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
