I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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