i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
