those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
